Play to Win

I was playing a game with my kids the other day. It is a Disney-themed board game with dice to roll, cards to draw, and characters to move along the board, but with a fancy update of today…an interactive DVD that is part of the game. Depending upon the roll of the dice, you either drew a card or chose an option on the DVD. I like the way it adds another dimension to the game. It is pretty fun to play, and the fact that I know a lot about a bunch of Disney movies gives me the upper hand playing against a couple of kids. No child can beat me!

The object of the game (just like most all board games) is to be the first to reach the end of the marked trail and enter the winner’s circle. Once you get there, you only have to answer a series of questions to win. If you knew your Disney movie stuff, you move along rather quickly. But if you don’t have a clue about Disney trivia, your progress is, oh, so slow. But sometimes it is only the luck of the dice or the drawing of a card. You are moving ahead of the pack when you start rolling low numbers, you aren’t knowledgeable in the facts, or draw a card that makes you go back in the game. It’s not only this game that makes you go back some spaces. Chutes and Ladders. Many times I have been near the end, only to hit that longest slide that seems to take you all the way back to the beginning. Candy Land. I have drawn a card that does the same thing. I don’t wanna go back to Lord Licorice if I am already past Queen Frostine.

Going back in the game is not always a bad thing. It just depends upon where you are at the moment and where you land when you go back. You might be looking at some of the spaces right in front of you that scare the crap out of you, and then you go back to a space that actually helps you out. But usually it only puts you back further than where you were without any benefit, and the threat of the spaces ahead are still there. But even though they are ahead of you, you have to move ahead in order to win. That’s the point of the whole game; to win. Or at least to stay ahead of the other players. But if you keep drawing cards that make you go back two spaces, it gets frustrating. It seems like you will never get ahead.

Life is full of drawn cards and rolled dice, which either clash or complement your knowledge that keeps you ahead. Sometimes you are rolling the high numbers and getting ahead in the game. Every card you draw puts you further ahead, putting everything and all the scary spaces behind you. The winner’s circle looms in the distance. Then, it seems that you start rolling low numbers and drawing cards that make you go back. Go back and redo what you have already done. Go back and do it over because you didn’t get it right the first time. Go back and start over.

Is it a good thing to go back and relive or redo something you thought you were over and done with? I guess if you learn something new or learn how to do it right, it could be. Life is full of second chances. Going back might mean that this time you get it right. You won’t make the same mistakes this time around. But sometimes it feels as if life is just punishing you. Making you go back when you have just gotten ahead, just gotten over something in your life, making things stick around, making you feel as if you will never reach the winner’s circle…making you feel as if you just can’t get it right. Sometimes it feels as if you are taking one step forward and two steps back and in order to get ahead, you must turn around and go in the opposite direction.

I know that feeling. It happens to me all the time. One minute, I’m feeling on top of the world. I feel like things are going to get better and they seem to be. Then, with the roll of a dice or the drawing of a card, I go back to feeling the weight of the world crushing down on me. “One minute, I’m over it. Then the next minute, I feel the opposite.” That’s a line from an ALO song called “Spectrum”. It’s a good song. Hell, the entire “Fly Between Falls” album is fantastic…full of parallels with my life. I’m going to take each and every song and break them down one day and see how they fit with my life. Even the album title means something to me. On the front of the album, there is a picture of a fly. I had always thought the words “fly” and “falls” in the title were nouns. I was driving home from a friend’s house the other night and had something hit me…what if they are verbs? What if it means when things are great, you are soaring above the clouds, high up in the sky…in between the plummets to earth, the down times, the “reliving the past” times. When that realization hit me, I started laughing and tearing up at the same time. I want to fly up there, but I’m only up there between the near-impacts with the ground.

Here I am, once again
At the other end of the spectrum.
A tug-o-war, my head is sore
'Cause I adore and I fear you

Well I can disagree with myself 'cause sometimes I feel like me and sometimes I feel like somebody else

One minute, I'm over it
Then the next minute, I feel the opposite
Then the next minute, I feel the opposite
Of the opposite, of feeling over it

“Spectrum” by ALO

Back and forth it goes. I so know how that feels. I really do.

I don’t mind playing this game. The thrill of what lies ahead keeps me going on. I know what is behind me. I’ve lived it. I have that knowledge to apply to the future. I’m not anxious to have to go back and redo things, to start over, to do things right the next time. But in order to get ahead, I may just have to do so. Learn from going back. Land on spaces I’ve been on. Turn back to go ahead. It’s going to happen. I have to just keep on rolling the dice; keep on drawing cards from the top of the pile.

I just have to realize that I won’t always roll the low numbers…and that every card in the deck won’t make me go back two spaces.