An Open Letter to Love

Dear Love,
How have you been lately? It seems just like yesterday that we were walking hand in hand down the Path of Happiness, stepping ever so lightly over the paved stones on Contentment Street, and running at a horse's pace on The Fast Track. I can't believe that we have been apart for so long. I hope that this time alone has found you the things you were looking for. I don't know what those things were, for you never told me, but as long as your wishes come true, I am happy for you. Although for the life of me, I can't remember where it is you moved to. I want you to know that I miss you dearly.

Do you remember the times we had together? The details are a little hazy from my perspective...but I do remember feeling as if I was full of helium. I felt so light and weightless. Nothing could keep my feet on the ground, no heavy weight could pull me down. I had the feeling you felt the same way. After all, you and those feelings go hand in hand. I'm sure you could remember if you try. Even toward the end, when you started to question whether or not we should be together, I wanted to be with you. Your leaving hurt me and quite actually, surprised me.

Why has it been so long since we talked? Things haven't been so great for me lately. Maybe it is both of our faults that this space is between us. You know, I have missed you so much, so much that I have begun to see you in all sorts of places. It seems that every time I come close to finding your whereabouts, my search turns out fruitless. Oh, I swear I see you all the time. I thought I saw you in my neighborhood the other day. I was driving in my bus...I think I was going to the grocery store (of all places to have thought I saw you...on the road to the grocery store?) and I swear I saw you passing by in a new car (and a spiffy new car, at that!). I waved frantically at you, but your eyes were held steadfast on the road ahead of you and we just passed each other without you even glancing my way. Good job, watching the road like that, but I just wished you would have looked my way.

I thought I saw you last month downtown. It looked like you, and from where I was situated, I could have sworn it was you. You acted the same, you smelled the same, and you had the same way of making me feel as if you were right next to me. Were you downtown last month? I thought you had moved further away than that...and I suppose you did, for it surely wasn't you. I wanted it to be you...I really did. But I was given a solid reminder that no, it wasn't you.

Most recently, I thought I saw you from afar in a book store. You had your back to me and was standing a ways from me in the "Romance" section of the store. I saw your long flowing hair and I got excited. I knew it was you. But something was different...did you do something with your hair? Have you lost weight? What was different about you? I couldn't tell. I couldn't tell if it was even you. I kept my distance, not wanting to approach you if it wasn't you standing there, armful of books and looking familiar enough to me. Was it you? I'm not sure I knew.

What happened to us? Who is to blame for our distance? Me? You? I don't blame you one bit. Well, maybe just a little. If you would have announced to me that you were moving away, I would have done something sooner to prepare for your departure. I would have made sure that you were certain that you wanted to leave. I would have made the proper preparations for your return, if that was to be. I should have done that anyway. I should have sensed that you were tired of the same old scenery, that you needed change to be happy, that you wanted me to be the way I was when we first started hanging out together. I am sorry...truly I am. I do want you to come back, but only when you are ready. I need to make sure that who I think is you actually is you.

Well, I am still at the same location if you ever want to look me up. I haven't gone anywhere. You know me...scared of change. My biggest fear is that you will come looking for me and I will not be around. An even bigger fear of mine is that I will never find you again. I hope that I do. I will keep looking for you everywhere I go. I won't give up and I won't let go the hope that you are still out there, somewhere out there, finding your way back to me. What was it that Tom Bodett says in the Motel 6 commercials? "We'll leave the light on for you." Yeah, that's it.

I'll leave the light on for you.
With you,
Me