Spare Some Change?

I worked a long day today. 11.5 hours. It isn't that hard and it keeps my mind from wandering too far. Seems like I should keep it on a short leash, kinda like the kid in Wal Mart, endlessly pulling taut the tether strapped around his chest on one end and held in the hand of a "parent" who obviously got their kid mixed up with the family dog.

I left work and (speak of the devil) made my way to Wal Mart to get some essentials and the 2-presents-per-kid-per-week that seems to make me think I'm not spending that much on my kids for Christmas. Spread out like that, I forget just what I have bought. Thank goodness none of them are wrapped up yet. Smart on my part, I must say..."I may not be a smart man, but I know what a duplicate is."

Out in the parking lot, I was putting my purchases in the trunk area of my (Oh, how I love it!!) Volvo Wagon, aka Grocery Getter/Kid Hauler/Work Transport, when I heard behind me a man's voice. "Excuse me sir." Sir. He called me "Sir". I'm a Mister, but I ain't a Sir... "I just came from Knoxville and am on my way to my parent's house in Lafayette. Do you think you could help me with some gas? I'm almost out and I don't think I can make it there with what's in the tank." Now I could have rolled my eyes in disgust or told the dude to get lost. But that isn't me. I must have an aura around me that either lets people know that "Hey, this guy's a sucker. He'll buy into your story" or that screams "This guy understands and has been there. He has a heart". Take your pick.

I've helped people out before. I'm not a hard nut to crack. I know what it is like to want/need and not have. And what the hell...I've got a little bit of extra money in my wallet. I had just put $20 on my Wal Mart Gift/Gas Card and had $7 left, which turned out to have this dude's name on it. Nope, never got his name, but apparently Someone did, because I felt compelled to tell him to follow me over to the Murphy USA...and because I was headed over there anyway.

This dude seemed sincere. He looked tired and ready to get to his destination. I looked to see if anyone else was in his little beat-up pick'em-up truck. If there were kids in there, that $7 was going to look awfully small to me. Luckily, it was just him, and $7 was plenty enough to get him from Ooltewah to Lafayette. Over at the gas station, he pulled up to the opposite side of the island that I pulled up to. I told him to hold on and that I would pre-pay for him. I gave the attendant the $7, told her to put it toward the gas on pump #6, walked over to the dude and told him he was ready to go. "Pump it till it quits", I told him. I then pumped my own gas. Dude was done far sooner than I expected, but then again, it doesn't take long to pump $7 worth of gas these days. I heard him pull the handle to squeeze in a few more cents (gotta make it an even number) and then he put the handle up. I asked if he got it all and he replied that he did. "Thank you Sir (there was that "Sir" again) and Merry Christmas. I got antifreeze and oil, but just didn't have enough for gas. Bless you".

He got in his truck and pulled away. In the meantime, my pump had filled my car up and had stopped. I put the cap back on, closed the gas flap and was moving around the back of my car to head to my door when the attendant rapped on the window and motioned me to come over to the window. When I approached the window, she asked me, "You prepaid $6, right?" I reminded her it was $7. "Well, he only put in $2." I know I told him to pump till it stopped and that it would be $7. Why he stopped at $2 (actually, $2.01 cause she asked if I had a penny) I don't know. I quickly ran to the front of the product display that flanked the front of the window to see if he was still in the area, but he had already taken off to (I presume) Lafayette. Back to his family. Back to someone he loves. Back to familiarity and hopefully, safety. When I got back to the window, I fished in my pocket, produced a penny, then she gave me back a $5 bill. I was still bewildered. "I don't know the guy, I was only trying to be a good soul and help out another one". She smiled, shrugged as if to say "I don't know" and I turned and got into my car.

I got change back from trying to do a good deed. That's a new one on me. Made me feel like I was in a Discover Card commercial. Cash back on all purchases. It pays to Discover.

I've been a funk lately. Things have taken a turn in my life and have gone in a direction where I never wanted to go. I didn't want things to happen like they have. But it is life and things happen, don't they? I'm in a funk, it’s the Happy Holidays Merry Frigging Christmas time of year and I'm in a funk. I'm sure I'm not the only one. In fact, I know I'm not the only one. This time of year is bad on lots of people. People I know and love so much are in their own version of the “funk”. I love Christmas, don't get me wrong, but there are times when I walk into a store and wanna hurry up and get my stuff and get out of there before I end up either ramming an unsuspecting shopper with my under-laden buggy or pull the hairs out of my head one by one...all because of the tinny oh-so-happy piped-in Christmas music. "Just hear those sleigh bells jingling, ring ting tingling too. Come on, it's lovely weather for a sleigh ride together with you..." "Have yourself a merry little Christmas, let your heart be light. From now on, our troubles will be out of sight..." "Sleigh bells ring, are you listening, in the lane, snow is glistening. A beautiful sight, we're happy tonight, walking in a winter wonderland..." Wait a minute. Is there an underlying theme here? Am I to believe that happiness is founded in jingling bells and mounds of cold, wet and slushy frozen precipitation? And that all my troubles will disappear with the coming of a pre-determined set holiday in the middle of winter? And that all of that has to be shared with someone special in order for that happiness to materialize?

No.

I don't believe that at all. I especially don’t believe that I have to have someone to love in my life in order to be happy. In other words, happiness does not stem from company. I know that. But I also know that having someone special in my life, someone to share all of life’s accomplishments and, yes, even defeats, makes that life a little more cheery, more laughable, more loveable, and the happiness that is already there is shared…and sharing makes it grow. I shared a little happiness tonight with someone whom I didn’t even know. Someone who apparently needed a little sharing…and that act of sharing moved the bold red line up a little bit on my happiness meter. Not because of that person (I don’t even know him, but I wish him well) but because of the happiness that was already deep inside of me, hell, inside all of us, that rises to the surface, more prominent in some, and even less in others.

Being down doesn’t last for long. That I do believe. I think I do…I hope I do. It doesn’t, right?

And by the way…Have yourself a Merry little Christmas now. ;-)