The Fall and the Deluge

Day two of no air-conditioning and all is well. It’s not that my AC is broken; I can turn it on if I want to. I usually don’t have the window units running while I am gone, whether it is all day at work or a short trip to the store. When I step in the door and if it is a bit warmer than I want it to be, I turn on the units. Out comes 70º of cold blow to cool down the place in record time. But I didn’t turn them on yesterday or today. It didn’t feel like it was needed and it wasn’t. The cursed rain has brought a side effect that makes the consumption of electricity here drop quite a bit…cooler weather. The impenetrable cloud cover that has blanketed the sky for what seems like forever has turned away a lot of the sun’s heat. That’s ok. Even though I am sick and tired of the rain, I welcome cooler weather with open arms.

I think that autumn tried to sneak up on me this year. I was flipping the Farmer’s Almanac calendar that hangs in my computer room. You know, the one that has the whole year’s weather predictions and the best days of the month, planting schedule, more holidays than I’ve ever heard of, and even the length of the days. A little concoction of overkill information mingled with a little fortune telling. As I flipped the page (I was about 13 days into September before noticing the calendar needed changing…) I saw that the first day of autumn is next Tuesday. That soon and I didn’t even notice.

I’ve always loved this season. Cooler weather makes for better camping. I love the way the days are tolerable and the nights are brisk. A campfire is a whole lot more appealing when you can hover around it and it actually feels good and needed instead of too hot and just there cause, well, that’s what you do when camping. Cooler weather lets you see your breath. You never see it in mid-July now, do you? Cooler weather lets us get our coats and jackets back out of the closet for yet another season of use. Cooler weather makes the trees shed their clothes and dresses the ground with their cast-off coverings. Cooler weather makes a jaunt up into the mountains pure driving excitement. Cooler weather makes snuggling better…

I’ve been happy lately. Nothing much has changed. A little of the past catching back up with me; anticipation of what seems to be a bit of the future; someone who I am hopeful for…a little of this; a little of that…makes a mixture of something to take the place of any feelings of gloom. My daughter asked me the other day a question that kind of made me think and put a little crack in my heart for her. She asked me if I ever felt like someone didn’t want me around them. I told her of course I had. It really is easy to read people when you know what to look for. I told her also that if people don’t want you around them, then they are probably not the people you want to be around anyway. It would be great if it really was as simple as that. But I didn’t go into the complexity of the heartache of knowing someone doesn’t want you around when all you want to do is be with that person.

I said I have been happy lately. I guess that should be just a general statement. Mostly that has been the norm. Of course there are those days. This brings me to a part of cooler weather, especially in this part of our great country, which is not so smile-inducing, for me, at least. It seems that instead of fluffy-white snow to play in, it is usually cold rain falling down from a cold, dreary sky. Just this morning, at work, as I was looking out of the 9th floor window facing Lookout Mountain, I saw the distant rain coming from Missionary Ridge to the east and from the valley to the south. It seemed to be merging into a wall of water that would soon be splashing up against the window and creating puddles on the parking lot below. I knew it was coming and I just sighed. I really am sick of the rain! On one of the sunny days last week, I was able to squeeze in time to mow my yard. Before that, it had been about two weeks since I was able to mow it. It had just been too wet from rain whenever I was home and had the time to mow. I’m glad that I got it done, because I think it has rained every day since then. So this morning, I was a little bit less than happy for a short period of time. It didn’t last too long, but it was long enough for gloomy thoughts to push their way into my head and push out any happiness lingering within. I don’t mind rain, normally. Everything needs water. Plants, animals, and humans…without it we wither, just like the flower sitting in the pot holding on to the cracked earth, begging for some relief. But day after day of rain is enough to make even the happiest soul yearn for a little sunshine. Too much of a good thing is not always good. Remember way back when…animals two-by-two…huh? Remember? Is it just me? Is there something wrong with me? It seems like constant rain brings on the gloom. I tried not to let those thoughts enter my head. I try not to think about them. I try not to think about the rain. Sunny days come. They really do. They exist between the days of rain.

I try not to think about the distance of the setting sun

I try not to think about the rain

I try not to think about the saints and sinners, who have more fun?

I try not to think about the rain

I try not to think about the evil empires and stupid fools

I try not to think about the rain

I try not to think about the regulations and the rules

I try not to think about the rain

Oh oh oh

What's wrong with me?

I try not to think about the money, the mortgage on my home

I try not to think about the rain

I try not to think about the voice mails, e-mails, angry females on the phone

I try not to think about the rain

I try not to think about the job and all responsibilities

I try not to think about the rain

I try not to think about my TV, BBC or MTV

I try not to think about the rain

Oh oh oh

What's wrong with me?

Oh oh oh oh

What's wrong with me?

I try not to think about the planets when they line up wrong

I try not to think about the rain

I try not to think about the future or the future, so on and so on

I try not to think about the rain

Oh oh oh

What's wrong with me?

Oh oh oh oh

What's wrong with me?

-Skye Edwards “What’s Wrong With Me?”